Tuesday, October 10, 2017

5 Signs That He's Not A Guy You Should Marry

My heart began pounding through my chest. I could feel the sweat dripping from my forehead. I was seconds away from uttering the words that would shatter my heart into a million little pieces. "I don't think we should see each other anymore."

My boyfriend was the sweetest guy in the world to me. He was funny and caring. The kind of guy that would force even Jack Dawson to pale in comparison. But as time went on someone new began to tug at my heart.

Slowly but surely I had fallen in love with Jesus. And this new reality, the one where Jesus came, swept me off my feet, placing himself in the very center of my existence-- forced me to face the signs I'd long ignored.

My boyfriend, though he seemed like a great guy, showed some major red flags. Red flags that proved that he may not be whats best for me and my relationship with Christ. I didn't want accept it. I wanted to close my eyes and pretend the signs weren't there,

But part of having Christ as our first love means doing all that we can to preserve our relationship with him. And very few things pull us away from Christ than a less than godly boyfriend. In my relationship I tried to turn a blind eye towards the signs. "It's not a big deal" i'd reason. But thankfully I was eventually able to see just how harmful the relationship ultimately was.

I want to share with you five red flags that Christian girls cannot ignore in dating relationships:

1. He doesn't pull you closer to Christ. In marriage, guys are called to be the leaders of their homes. If he is isn't pulling you closer to Christ while your dating, than it's a good indication that he may not be suited for filling the leadership role at all. 

2. He doesn't have a Christian reputation. The bible tells us that we will know them by their fruit. If the guy that your interested in isn't known as a Christian it's probably because he isn't. He may go to church, he may even say a prayer from time to time, but that doesn't make him a Christian. True followers of Christ live radically different lives in a way that is noticeable to all. 

3. He doesn't show a high regard towards purity. Not just your purity, his purity. A guy who truly values his purity is going to guard not only his body but his eyes and his mind against things that corrupt them. (Psalm 101:3) If he can't even protect his own purity it's very unlikely that he'll be able to protect yours. Here's a few examples of a guy who doesn't value his purity:
- He places himself in sticky situations were his purity may be compromised.
- His entertainment choices are flooded with sensual images/innuendos.
- He doesn't initiate a discussion on boundaries.

4. His closest friends are not Christians. You know what they say, "birds of a feather, flock together." The bible tells us not to have fellowship with darkness. (2 Cor 6:14) If a guy's closest friends are non-Christians, you’ll need to stop and ask yourself, why is he so attracted to those living in darkness? 

5. He does not have a biblical understanding of manhood/womanhood. Our culture has waged war on manhood and womanhood. But our gender is important to how we reflect Christ's image. It's also central to understanding how we can best serve Christ. In marriage, men and women were created to complement one another through our genders. This is why it is so important that a guy not only understands his role as a man, but yours as a woman. If he's decided Christs design for manhood and womanhood are "old fashioned" and would rather approach this area in his own way, than that's a clear sign that the two of you are probably not fit for each other.

When it comes to romance, the popular idea is to ignore any red flags and go with what our hearts are telling us. But this truly is a recipe for disaster. Just take one quick glance at the culture around us. It's not difficult to see that their formula for dating isn't working. As Christian girls, we need to approach this area with an objective mind. We can't ignore the red flags.

Let's chat!
Have you have been in a relationship where you've ignored red flags?


  1. I recently got out of a relationship filled with red flags, I had convinced myself he was perfect for me, even though he wasnt at all, I had to be trully heart broken finding out he had been lying about several things through out the relationship to finally open my eyes, God is good and merciful , and has much better plans for us, than the ones we have for ourselves. Listening to the holy spirit and letting Him guide us along the way can prevent unnecessary pain or heartache.

  2. this article was so encouraging. i just got out of a relationship that was not healthy for me in anyway. i thought he was the most perfect guy, but he was lacking the knowledge of christ. it helped me to realize that God has someone much better, someone who will lead my family in christ. the Lord definitely saved me from a very damaging heartbreaking relationship.

  3. Wow! Although I have never dated, I know this will help me so much in the future. In the past I had crushes on a lot of boys, and although some things were hard to tell, their closest friends were not Christians. Thank you so much for writing this! I know God showed me this post for a reason.