Friday, December 8, 2017

Why Christian Girls Should Date With Purpose

I was sitting in a small cafe with my parents, sipping on a hot drink when I overheard a girl mention to her friend something interesting. When asked how she and her (then) boyfriend were doing she said "good, it's nothing serious, we're just having fun."

I thought that was interesting and wondered why she would chose to date aimlessly like that. As time went on and I began to grow a little older, this style of dating seemed to grow more popular among the people I knew. It seemed like everyone was just dating for fun, no desire for marriage any time soon.

For someone growing up in our culture today, this may seem totally normal. So normal that we don't even stop to ask if this is the style of dating God wants us to pursue. I sure didn't. In high school I sort of went along with it.

I knew I was way too young to get married, and that none of my relationships would likely last forever, so I decided to take on the mindset that i'd just date for fun. But heartbreak after heartbreak finally made me stop and ask myself, is this how dating is really supposed to be?

I began to actually search through scripture to understand God's heart for relationships and marriage and the results shocked me. I realized that dating with no purpose isn't exactly what God had in mind. Here are four reasons why:

1. The bible never mentions purposeless dating

When Jesus walked the earth, every little thing he did had a purpose. He was very intentional. He calls His followers to live out his example of a purpose filled life. We even see that through the biblical model of dating.

Whenever couples were formed in the bible it was with the intention of marriage. Scripture does not mention people dating for fun with no marital intention. This is part of the Christian life, doing everything with intention, to God's glory.

2. We're told to guard our hearts

The bible instructs us to guard our hearts. Dating around just for fun isn't exactly "guarding our hearts." In fact it's the exact opposite. When we date aimlessly we give pieces of our hearts away to guys who aren't planning on protecting it for life.

We set ourselves up for our very own heartbreaks. Even when we don't expect a relationship to work out, the sting of separation still persists. God calls us to date intentionally. This doesn't mean every attempt to finding a spouse will work out, but it sure does mean that our hearts are a lot safer.

3. We should avoid the appearance of evil

When it comes to dating and marriage, it's very clear to see that our culture is following a different formula. The popular idea is meet someone, test them out by sleeping with them, than decide if their someone you'd like to marry. But the bible upholds sex as an intimate act between husband and wife. Not some test to decide whether or not you like someone.

When we date around aimlessly, we give the impression that we're following the cultural trend of messy dating. When we date, only with purpose, we send a clear message that as Christians, we follow Christ's biblical model of dating, not our culture's.

4. Dating with no purpose robs us of God's design for our single season

Christ calls us to live in seasons, according to His will. As Christians, when we date "just for fun" we rob ourselves of the season of singleness God is using for our good and His glory. Paul upheld singleness as a gift where someone could serve God with no distractions. (1 Corinthians 7:34)

When we date with zero purpose we aren't exactly using our single season to serve God with no distractions. Instead we create pointless distractions that won't even end in marriage. God gets zero glory out of us dating aimlessly.

This may seem like a strange concept in today's culture, but living our lives with purpose sure isn't strange to God. Let's let our dating lives reflect the intention driven life Christ calls us to have.

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